The Wanderer

As I walked through the wilderness of this world …

Maybe it’s just me . . .

with 6 comments

. . . but the one thing that I can’t get out of my head after reading this post is that someone exists – and this is by no means to cast any nasturtiums on the man himself – whose name is Paxson Jeancake.

If you really think that you can beat that, please attempt to do so in the comments.

Written by Jeremy Walker

Friday 28 October 2011 at 08:55

Posted in While wandering . . .

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6 Responses

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  1. That was my reaction too! At first, I read it as “Jamcake”….I haven’t had a slice of that in too long!!! It’s a rural treat here in Kentucky- a dense cake with layers of fruit jam (usually blackberry) and walnuts in between the layers and frosted with caramel icing!


    Friday 28 October 2011 at 12:36

  2. Came across the delightfully double-barrelled but somewhat challenging Whitelock-Wainwright today…


    Friday 28 October 2011 at 19:03

  3. That is exactly what I thought when I first met Paxson Jeancake. . . little did I know that one day I would stand before a classroom of high school seniors and say, “Good morning class, my name is Mrs. Jeancake.” Yes, I married into that doozy of a name. Trust me, Paxson, and I, and now of course our darling little girls hear all the variations – pattycake, little ho-ho cake, you know how it goes. Jeancake is a American derivation of the greek last name Gianokakis (Jean -o-cakis). Thanks to the American school system in Brooklyn, Paxson’s grandfather was tagged the name Jeancake. Aren’t you jealous. . . That’s our story :)

    Allison Jeancake

    Saturday 29 October 2011 at 00:43

    • Dear Mrs Jeancake – a hearty “Thank you!” for taking the time to write in. I think you may be the deserving winner of this year’s “Good Sport Award.” May I further commend you for your bravery in entering the school system, an act of courage almost on a par with that of the famed and possibly apocryphal Miss Alexa Shufflebottom.

      Reading the etymological history of the Jeancake label, I can’t help thinking that Brooklyn must have been a cruel place to grow up.

      I must admit, though, that it wasn’t just the surname that caught the eye of this nominally-myopic Brit, but the 10000 candlepower majesty of the whole arrangement. I am now fascinated by the parental psychology of the Jeancake clan. I mean, confronted with “Jeancake”, some parents might have decided to go for a bit of off-setting – soften the blow a little, come down to a choice between Colin and Alf or something. But no, the Jeancakes decided to go out with all guns blazing, and plumped for the phonetically spectacular sibilance of “Paxson” (though I am sure not many have the spirit to go for a whole-hogged “Packs-son” – the kind of effort that probably requires a few sips of water before attempting it -, probably settling for the slightly tamer “Packson” effort). As a package, it’s stellar. I mean, to get “Walker” into that kind of company would require a name of almost era-defining magnificence or monstrosity. And it’s the package that gets me. I mean, had you been christened Alleluia or Beowulfa or something of that ilk, would you have needed a few more minutes before saying “Yes, of course, sweetheart!” to the soulful-eyed and expectantly-kneeling Paxson when he asked you to marry him?

      It all puts me in mind of the name once reported to me by a teacher of chastened mien at the beginning of a particular school year. One set of parents, dragging the winged chariot of the surname Duxbury through their existence, had decided to bless their progeny with the forename, “Proteus.” I mean, what a splendid act of defiance! What a stroke of brilliance! And so strides on to the world stage a child named “Proteus Duxbury”, destined only to stand alongside Paxson Jeancake and others of similar rich heritage.

      So it gives me a terrific thrill when I hear that you and Paxson have produced two daughters. While I am not asking you to name them publicly – the suspense is so much more tantalising! – I tremble with a sort of troubled yet joyful anticipation at the prospects. How did you play the game? What route did you take? Anthraxa? Javelina? Angharad? Mississippi? Pheromona? Bob? The possibilities dance through the Walker brain like a thousand psychedelic butterflies.

      So, Allison, once more our thanks for dropping by in such good spirit. It is much appreciated.

      And once again, the cry goes out: if you have a name, or know of one, that deserves to soar through the nominal stratosphere alongside of Paxson Jeancake and Proteus Duxbury, please be sure to let us know.

      Jeremy Walker

      Saturday 29 October 2011 at 08:45

  4. I can’t decide whether the seven people who read this blog are so sheltered that they don’t know anyone with a slightly random name, are too busy with good works to spend time commenting on something so frivolous, or are simply naff at commenting. Surely someone knows someone called Torquil Bellfetch, Amal Phuzz, Mahatma Velcro, or something approximating the given names of any American golfer (J. J. Wanny, Glanville Cusp III, or somesuch)? Especially after Mrs Jeancake was kind enough to confirm that the name which kicked this off struck even her somewhat between the eyes when she first heard it.

    Maybe next week . . .

    Jeremy Walker

    Saturday 29 October 2011 at 21:24

  5. I can’t decide if Octavius Job is unusual enough…


    Wednesday 2 November 2011 at 20:01

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